Leadership Writing #3: Humility

Leadership writing #3 Humility

In this 3^rd writing I want to take on a topic of personal importance to me, and a potentially huge landmine in Godly leadership: humility. Humility is one of those things we give much lip service to and pretend that is important and highly valued, but struggle to truly live out. Let’s face it, we can be pretty selfish and self-absorbed most of the time! Greek mythology gives us a term for it, “narcissistic,” derived from the story of a homosexual teenager who spurned all his male suitors’ advances and fell in love with his own reflection until he eventually committed suicide. Hmmm, self-absorbed pride comes with some issues…. Our problems come when we have an inflated view of ourselves, what we deserve or are owed, and the types of work or service we should be engaged in. Pride is at the root of much our own personal sin and the reason for Satan’s expulsion from heaven as he sought to supplant God. Beyond blatant pride issues is the issue of false humility. In our minds we know we should be humble, but our hearts don’t always follow suit. We act humble, because we know we’re supposed to, but inside the pride is there and affecting our thinking and interactions with others.

Humility in the leader can be difficult. There is no doubt about that. In a place of leadership you have people looking to you for direction, guidance and inspiration. While these are noble pursuits and rightly sought by those that you may be leading, if improperly pursued or sought by the leader, pride begins to raise its head in our lives. As a leader you are naturally out front, our pride likes to be out front! It can be a dangerous slope if we do not keep our focus on Jesus and His incredible example of humility. At the same time, a fear of pride taking root in our lives should not grow inside of us and keep us from moving into the places of leadership God may be calling us into. Below I’ve listed 5 thoughts on humility, I hope they’ll guide you into a place of true humility as a servant-leader.

1. Self-evaluate

You know yourself better than anyone. Even those that are bound tightly by pride and arrogance know the truth of where they are inside. Examine your life. Do you seek an inappropriate amount of attention from others? Do you need everyone to know what you have done, are doing or will be doing (have you ever been prideful of something you haven’t even done yet?! No comment from the author on that one!). Do you push back when asked to do something that you feel is “beneath you?” Do you look at yourself in every mirror or reflective window you pass by? That last one was kind of a joke, but not really….

What’s the verdict when you self-evaluate? Are there areas in your life where pride is taking hold? Here’s the next part, and this one’s tough: if you know God is calling you to a place of leadership, in a big-way or in a small-way, prepare to be broken. God wants to clean the pride out of your life. He will accomplish His plans one way or the other, as good as you may think you are, He’s better and can accomplish His plans without you. That’s humbling in itself. As He prepares you for the next step in life, He cares much more about you than the task ahead. He desires to see the pride cleaned out of you, and for most of us that is a painful extraction, because God is not a big fan of anesthesia (Gen. 3:16, although I think epidurals are part of the redemption, but that’s for another time)! Moses, a prince of Egypt, was broken. Jonah, a man of God was broken. David, a man after God’s own heart, was broken. Peter, the foundation of the Church, was broken. Paul, the writer of most of the New Testament, was broken. We’re in good company. After leaving Southern California to come to Charlotte to start Ephesus, I was broken. I’ve struggled with pride my whole life and brought that arrogance with me. God didn’t need me to take Charlotte by storm in the Fall of 2005, He much more preferred to begin a season of humility and brokenness in my life. It was painful, at times frustrating, but absolutely necessary. I’ve not fully arrived, and still struggle sometimes, but God is working in me as I pursue Him and honestly evaluate my own life and heart.

2. Humility requires regular repentance

I can sometimes be accused of talking about sin too much. I do bring it up often, but it’s a constant reminder that we’re not all we think we’re cracked up to be. We’re sinners. We’re prideful folks. This can be especially true as we pursue leadership, as I mentioned above. Being reminded of my sin is not a downer for me, it’s a reminder to me to be humble. Without Jesus, I’m truly going nowhere. Now, this is not a reason to wallow in self-pity and emotional tear-jerking, it should be a catalyst to repent, live humbly and pursue Jesus. Looking at the perfect life of Jesus should be a constant reminder of our station in the grand scheme of eternity and keep us pretty humble.

3. “No excuse sir!”

Many of you know that I spent a very short time at the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. Coming out of high school the only thing on my mind was flying planes for the Navy, becoming a naval aviator. It’s a grueling process to get accepted to the Naval Academy and once there you’re quickly humbled merely by the fact that everyone else in your class is probably better than you in most ways! I had grown up with a bit of a chip on my shoulder because people gave me attention. I had developed this attitude that I deserved it, and also developed a bad habit of making excuses for not doing everything perfect all the time. There was always an excuse. At the Naval Academy, as well as West Point and the Air Force Academy, you’re taught, that as a Plebe, you only have 4 responses available to you when addressed by a superior officer: “Yes sir/ma’am,” “no sir/ma’am,” “I’ll found out sir/ma’am,” and my favorite, “no excuse sir/ma’am.” That last one taught me the most. Now, while I was accepted to the Naval Academy, reported for duty and was sworn into the Navy as a Midshipman 4^th Class, I only stayed there for 30 days. Very quickly after my arrival I realized this was not where God wanted me to be. I have the utmost respect for everyone who attends a service academy and for those who serve our nation, but God had other plans for my life. Not only was I only there one month, but this was 15 years ago. But in that one month, 15 years ago, I was taught an incredible lesson in humility: “no excuse sir.” As I said, I was good at making excuses. I was prideful and arrogant and could do no wrong. But in the halls of Bancroft Hall I learned to take responsibility for my screw-ups and failures. Officers and upperclassmen didn’t want to hear excuses, as great as they may have been; they wanted to hear responsibility. Taking responsibility for our actions is humbling, but crucial to the successful leader. Humility means owning up to what your responsible for. No matter what. You may have a great reason something didn’t happen the way it should, but ultimately the leader is still responsible. The humble leader takes the responsibility and makes no excuses.

4. Humility=servanthood

Somewhere in our wiring is a penchant for position and title. For some reason we like to have titles, an impressive resume and an excuse to not do certain things that are “below us.” This is pride. Jesus, the greatest leader to ever walk on Earth exemplified servant-hood in the entirety of His life. Nothing and no one was beneath Him.  In John 13 we see the example of Jesus washing the feet of His disciples. This wasn’t just a nice gesture because their sandals had gotten funky, it was a service provided by only the lowest servants. This is for obvious reasons, who wants to wash feet? Feet are gross. Not only that, but everyone would have been wearing open sandals walking on dirt roads and paths covered in all manner of refuse and animal waste. Yet here is the Son of God, who very shortly will be giving His life for all mankind, washing feet. Jesus says in John 13:13-14, “You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.”

Last fall, I had the tremendous opportunity to spend some time at New Hope Church in Hawaii. While I was there I learned the story of two of the pastors there. One is a former judge, the other a former convict. Interestingly, the former convict was sentenced to prison by the former judge for drug-related crimes! Upon his release from prison the ex-convict came to New Hope searching for a new direction in life. While he had been in prison, the judge had started a new relationship with Jesus through the ministry of New Hope. When the former drug dealer went into the bathroom prior to the service he saw the judge who had sentenced him cleaning the toilets. This extreme act of servant-hood prompted this former inmate to pursue Jesus. Now they serve together as pastors at New Hope, both pursuing new careers from very different backgrounds.

5. Humility leads to teachability

John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, said, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” Being teachable throughout life is a mark of humility. Too often we falsely pretend to know WAY more than we actually do. In my years as a youth pastor one of the most frustrating phrases I heard teenagers utter was, “I know.” 99.9% they said this after being shown quite obviously that they didn’t know! When we are leaders we can have a tendency to think we have to put on the act that we do know everything we’re supposed to know. We have false pride in thinking “we have arrived.” There is a great book on leadership that comes from an interesting place. Ender’s Game is a very popular science fiction story about a young boy raised up and trained to lead mankind in the defense against an alien invasion. I know compelling stuff! But in truth, this is just a great book whether you’re a sci-fi fan or not. One of the aspects of this book that make it great is the look at leadership. The protagonist, Ender Wiggin, is always striving to learn from anyone he can. He’s shown to be a tremendous leader, but he is always open to learning from whomever he can no matter their station. When we stop learning, we stop growing and eventually we’ll stop leading. Acknowledge, humbly, that there is much for you to learn and never stop being teachable.

Break it down:

1. How do you react to your mistakes?

2. Are you willing to serve in obscurity? Why/why not?

3. Where do you need some humility?

Afterword for May 3, 2009

I really like this method of doing a little follow-up to sermons from Sunday. Hopefully I’ll be able to do these on a semi-regular basis. This Afterword is for May 3, 2009. Enjoy…and check out the sweet face I’m making in the screenshot before you click “play.” Nice.

Some more thoughts on being missional

I’ve become a part of an online community at goideation.org. It’s mostly tech and worship leaders but opens up a lot of great discussions, you should check it out. I just posted this question below on their forum, any thoughts would be very cool…

Heading into a strategic/creative planning meeting tomorrow so I’m pondering this an awful lot. Now I know every city and community is different, but I’m just curious what are people finding to be the so-called “keys” to their community and/or city? What ways have you discovered to be missional to where God has put your church? We’re in a vibrant, urban center so the typical children’s ministry and catchy mailer/sermon series isn’t enough. We’re working on drilling down to where this young, mostly single, affluent crowd God has surrounded us with is going to discover Jesus in a way that fits the context of their seeming affluence and non-perceived need for Jesus. Good times! Not looking for ideas that will necessarily fit our context, I’d just like to see what God is revealing to folks in other places and how you discovered it. Thanks!

Wrestle

This past Sunday at Ephesus we looked at David’s hurt and frustration when Uzzah died after trying to steady the Ark on its journey to Jerusalem. Seemingly God struck down Uzzah for not a really good reason, at least from our perspective. But that’s right where things get sketchy, when we start trying to answer everything from our perspective. At its core, that’s supreme arrogance. In this world of tolerance and correctness, we determine those things based on our own perspective. Who are we really? Even from a secular, humanistic perspective we’re not much. Just random chance evolution, destined to become worm food. Who are we to say what’s just and what isn’t? The same is true of our understanding of God. Who are we to decide what is just and what isn’t? It’s a tough concept, and one that Christians too often gloss over or pretend isn’t really a struggle. “We’re Christians and everything therefore, is peachy!” But we know in our hearts that’s not true. That’s why it was good to wrestle with those questions this past Sunday. We have to wrestle, constantly. Our faith demands, our purpose to our city demands. God who wants our authentic love deserves it. He deserves a people who wrestle and think and strive to better know Him. Honestly, it was a tough one for me, I had to wrestle with just putting together a coherent message that allowed us to journey closer to understand God’s justice. But I’m glad I did, I’m glad the Holy Spirit prompted me to go there. If you want you can check out the podcast here(will be up by the end of the week of 12/1). Keep wrestling!

PS: I mentioned a couple of great books on the subject, here they are

The Reason for God, by Tim Keller

Mere Christianity, by CS Lewis (an oldie, but a goodie!)

Questions on theology

You know over the last few months since Ephesus has started to get some traction, I’ve had more questions on theology and what we REALLY believe than in my previous 10 years of ministry combined. It’s funny, because personally I have studied more theology in the last year than I have in any other year of my time in ministry. I’ve been challenged to fully flesh out what I believe and wrestle with issues that for too long the US church has just kind of ignored. I’m certainly not alone in this. Across the US church, leaders and pastors and church goers are wrestling with theology. It unfortunately has led to some schisms, but overall I see it as a huge benefit to our personal relationships with Jesus. We live in a very pluralistic culture spiritually, and that makes it much more crucial that we are absolutely solid in what we know, what we believe, and why we believe it. Paul challenges us in Ephesians 4 to know what we believe and not be swayed. He was speaking to a very spiritually pluralistic culture when he gave this challenge so it very much speaks to us today. So I say, “Ask the questions!” It’s great that people have the questions and don’t just allow themselves to either take things at face value or be swayed by the cunning of man. As for me, I’m pretty conservative when it comes to my theology and interpretation of Scripture. I believe I have no choice, but I’m sure on the constant journey of learning and knowing Scripture and the underlying theology better. With that, I’m going to go work through my daily Life Journal now, cause that’s where it starts!

Missed opportunities

I just finished reading a piece in the most recent issue of Relevant Magazine by Adam Smith. I’ve become a huge fan of Adam’s listening to him on the Relevant Podcast, truly one of the funniest things out there. If you don’t subscribe go to itunes now and subscribe. Next to the Ephesus Church podcast, it’s one of the best audio excursions out there! Adam recently moved to New Zealand to explore some new opportunities in life, but he has continued to Skype into the podcast and write for Relevant. This month he recounts a recent occurrence in his life after moving to New Zealand. He was at a bus stop when a young (very) couple sat down next to him. She was crying and the guy was trying to get Adam to talk. Adam relates how he had no desire to talk with them or get involved in the situation. The guy continues to prod and eventually Adam talks with him and learns of the difficult situation they’re in. What Adam honestly admits is that he didn’t want to, and didn’t do much for them and struggled with that reality afterward. He says he can quickly give to a worthy cause, or buy clothing that supports the right causes in the world but when God put opportunity right in front of him he shied away. This struck me to the core. How true of so many of us who claim to be Christians. We’ll give money, drink fair trade coffee and avoid Nikes but when it’s right in front of us, we can’t be bothered, don’t want to be bothered. I struggle with this constantly. I’m working on it. God has called me and Ephesus to Charlotte. There is very wealthy communities in this city and there are extremely downtrodden communities, what am I going to do to be hands-on with both? It can’t just be a check or an exhorting word from the pulpit. It has to be life…. Very soon at Ephesus we’ll be introducing you to the Hyaets Community in West Charlotte. One of our attenders, Anna, is living out Jesus right in the neighborhood. Actions are speaking. I’m praying I’ll get out of my self-induced bunker and live and work with the people God has called us to in Charlotte. I’m praying that the vision God has given for Ephesus will happen. He’s called us to reach those who are more fortunate and then leverage the available resources to impact, in a HANDS-ON way, those not as fortunate. It’s the model of the New Testament church. It’s also the model the founder of our Foursquare movement, Aimee Semple McPherson, lived out at Angelus Temple in Los Angeles during the Depression. Through Angelus Temple, the affluent of Los Angeles, including movie stars like Charlie Chaplin, used what they had to feed and clothe so many affected by the poor economic times. In fact the food banks and commisarys of Angelus Temple fed and clothed more than the City of Los Angeles or any other government agency of the time. Today, the Dream Center and Angelus Temple continue this very hands-on Christian lifestyle. It’s encouraging and challenging to be reminded this kind of Christian lifestyle is a part of our denominational heritage.

I saw myself so clearly in Adam’s story of the bus stop (he’s a former pastor). I’m praying God will increase my boldness. I’m looking forward to plugging in with Anna and Hyaets and what they’re doing in West Charlotte. Pick up a copy of the most recent issue of Relevant and be challenged in what you are REALLY doing to be Jesus to this world and our community.

The radical church model at Ephesus

As I’ve gotten to meet a lot of new folks at Ephesus over the last few months one common theme keeps popping up. People are saying they have to hunt and hunt for a church that is solidly biblical in their teachings and actions. Unfortunately, this hasn’t caught me as much of a surprise, but shouldn’t it be surprising? Christian churches that aren’t obviously putting Scripture right out front? This often includes putting Jesus (or not, as the case may be) right out front. People are truly hungry for Jesus and Scripture and tired of wasting their time with feel good theology that makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy, but leaves way too much open to debate and makes no, true, eternal change in people’s lives. As a pastor, and a church, we’re committed to God’s Word and Jesus. It’s amazing how “attractional” this has been in our early months as a church. I’m very excited about how people are landing at Ephesus, because they see a church that is biblical and loves Jesus. At the same time, it’s exciting to see people discover who Jesus truly wants to be in their lives and then seeing their lives change, while we follow our “radical” model of preaching Jesus and the bible every Sunday. I love our church!

Charlotte Observer’s article about Ephesus Church!

Read the story here: Sorry, but the link is no longer working…doggone Charlotte Observer changed the link.

Time Change

I wanted to let everyone know that starting October 12th, Ephesus Sunday service time is changing to 10:30am. Our ReLaunch will be our first service held at our new time. There’s great reasons for a morning and an evening service and in the near future, as we grow, we hope to start a second service in the evening. But, we feel right now 10:30am on Sunday morning is the best time for us to come together. If you are planning on coming to our ReLaunch, please make note of the time change! We are planning on moving back to Brevard Street next Sunday, 9/28, but will still meet at 6pm until October 12th. If you have any questions, please contact us at info@ephesuschurch.tv Also, tomorrow (Sunday) in the Uptown area’s local section of the Charlotte Observer there will be an article about Ephesus Church by Marty Minchin! If you don’t live in the Uptown area, you’ll be able to find the article on the Observer’s website or by going to a local store and picking up a copy with the Uptown “Friend’s & Neighbors” section. Exciting stuff happening for Ephesus, thanks for being a part!

Follow up to The Vision-Revisited

This past week at Ephesus Church we looked again at the vision God has given us as a church in Uptown Charlotte. I was just looking over some notes from a sermon we had on what the church is supposed to be back about 5 months ago. I saw many things in that sermon that dovetailed very nicely with this past Sunday. So in a first, never been done before, I’m posting my notes from that sermon in their raw form. Basically I’m being lazy and not wanting to reformat and edit for the blog (the bullets and tabbing is off too, oh well!) so enjoy and get a taste of how I arrange my thoughts for Sundays while also digging deeper into who God has called Ephesus to be as a church…

The Church Pt. 5                                                          27 April 2008

 

REVIEW last week

1.    Ekklesia

o   “called out”

2.    an assembly of believers

3.    A place of belonging

q  Salvation was not meant to be spent alone

4. the church belongs to Jesus

PART 2

1. A place to discover Jesus
2. A place to encounter God

q  Supernatural origins

1. A healthy community

q  The church is designed for relationship

1. A place to be challenged

q  Edification-building up and encouraging

q  Exhortation

5. A place to serve

q  Being in a church gives us a place to serve with eternal purpose

 

Worship

q  Giving adoration and devotion

q  Includes music and includes lifestyle

 

The Lord’s supper/Communion

1.    Remembrance

2.    Communion

3.    Expectation

 

How the church reaches out

q  Many names

• q  Evangelism
• q  Outreach
• q  Missions

q  Many different ways it has been done in

• q  Crusades
• q  Tracts
• q  Apologetics
• q  Altar calls

q  All of these are fine within the right cultural contexts

• q  Culture today has changed
• q  Its full of slick marketing
• q  Slick sales-pitches
• q  Mass advertising
• q  Creating events with mass emotional appeal
• q  People are burned out on it
• q  We see through the hype
• q  We’re wary of it
• q  We’re calloused and bitter most of the time

q  We have the most important message on earth but have to be challenged in how we present it

• q  STORY> stripper turned Christian
• q  Stef

                       o   Teenager

                       o   Drugs sex

                       o   Stripping

                       o   Boyfriend

                       o   Moved in together

                       o   Missing something

                       o   BUT didn’t want to be told what to do

q  Began with relationships

• q  Began with a church and its people willing to accept her and her boyfriend where they were
• q  AND pursue friendships with them
• q  Not an emotional response to a big event
• q  A process in which she was led to Jesus

q  People all over this city, need to be loved, need to find friends and need to know Jesus

q  Our vision as a church is “Loving Jesus, loving people, loving the city”

q  That begins with reaching out in love and building relationships with people

q  It is our biblical mandate:

 

Matthew 28.18-20

All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all the things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

 

1.   Jesus is the man

2.   Go make disciples

• q  Get deep
• q  Get real
• q  Follow Jesus’ example

            o   He didn’t start with a huge blowout laser and light extravaganza giving out free donkeys
            o   He started by meeting a couple of guys down at the lake, doing some fishing, going to a party,                      turning a little water into wine

3.   Trust him when he says he’s with us to the end

 

How

1.   Focus on Jesus

John 12.32

And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself

 

q  Jesus’ resurrection will draw people in

q  There’s the victory and hope we have

q  Jesus is alive, he defeated sin

 

2.   Understand, then practice Missional living

q  Change in American culture requires a change in how people discover Jesus

q  George Hunter-Celtic Way of Evangelism

                                              i.     Celtic population of the British Isles was reached through integrating into the culture

                                            ii.     Becoming a part of their lives, while still living by Christian principles-“lifting up Jesus”

                                          iii.     Through relationships the Celts discovered Jesus

q  This applies in our culture today

                                              i.     Peter Berger “Social Construction of Reality” wrote this in 1966 about how people can shift their worldview in our culture

1.   Person’s view of reality is shaped within the community into which they are socialized

2.   In a pluralistic society (of which we are certainly a part!) conversion, or changing the way one perceives reality, is opened up through conversations with people who live with a contrasting view of reality

3.   One adopts and internalizes the new worldview through resocialization into a community sharing that new worldview

q  What does that mean for us?

                                              i.     Get out there!

                                            ii.     Make friends, build relationships, have conversations

Colossians 4.5-6 MSG

5 Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. 6 Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.

                                          iii.     Live life together

                                          iv.     Trust Jesus to be with you until the end of the age

 

3.   Bigger scale-Plug into the city

q  God loves the city

                                               i.     The bible ends with the city

                                             ii.     First missionaries went to plant churches in the city

                                            iii.     Nehemiah sent to rebuild the city of Jerusalem

                                           iv.     Jonah sent to the “great city” of Nineveh

                                             v.     Culture flows out of the city

1.    Change happens in the city

2.    Density of population

a.    More relationships

b.    More communication

c.    More openness to life change

q  We have to be praying a seeking how to better plug into Charlotte

                                               i.     Opportunities

                                             ii.     Key, strategic relationships

                                            iii.     Give back to the city in real tangible ways

                                           iv.     Make a positive name for ourselves in Charlotte

 

All this may happen before someone even comes to church

q  That’s tough for me

o   This is where I’m measured and judged right?

o   This is the big deal…

 

4.   When folks come Welcome and include everyone

q  As someone’s social network includes more and more Christians they may get plugged in

q  We have to be open and welcoming to everyone

                                               i.     Goth chick

q  Allow them to “belong, then believe”

                                               i.     Maybe they play in the band

                                             ii.     Help with the website

                                            iii.     Shake hands at the door

                                           iv.     Whatever

q   We have to be intentional about this

5.    Preach about Jesus

q  2 issues to avoid as we live missionally

Syncretism

1.    Culture becoming more important than the Gospel

a.    Dangerous because the Gospel is controversial

b.    In our fear of offending people we could water down the Truth of Jesus

Romans 12.2

do not be conformed to this world

  Sectarianism

1.    Making the church more important the Gospel

a.    This leads us to create a “holy huddle”

b.    We become protective of what we are and don’t engage people who don’t yet know Jesus

John 17.15

I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.

 

q  Jesus is the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father

q  We do contextualize

• o   We have to continually adjust our methods to bring relevance within the culture we live
• o   Paul in Acts 17 in Athens
• o   Missionaries around the world

o   MISSIONAL

o   If not, the church will die of irrelevance

 

6.   Baptizing

a.    As someone’s life is transformed through the Christian relationships they develop they to become a follower of Jesus

b.    May not be a precise moment of raising a hand or checking a box

c.    They fully grasp Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection

d.    Tell their friends and the church celebrates

e.    Then they are baptized as a public example of what has happened in their lives

                                               i.     This is an opportunity for others to see Jesus

                                             ii.     An opportunity for the church to celebrate

f.      More on my blog this week

g.    Do you want to be baptized?

 

7.   Continue living life together

q  Be real and be repentant

q  Romans 6-we’re free from sin, and become slaves to righteousness

q  So step up our lives and accountability as we journey together

 

Challenge

q  Salt of the earth

Matthew 5.13-16

q  Will you be salt or will you be thrown out, marginalized?

q  This is the call on all of our lives

 

Ephesus is called to this city and the people-are you going to step up, are you willing?